même pas une pièce à conviction
by Spellthief
Summary: In which identities are revealed, kisses are stolen, and Alya gets the Wrong Idea. Written for ML Secret Santa 2016!


At 2:05am on December the 25th, Nino Lahiffe was rudely awoken by someone throwing rocks at his bedroom window.

Nino's first instinct was to roll over, pull the blankets up over his head, and ignore it. He assumed it was just some Réveillon partier who was up way too late and would move along sooner or later. But the rock-throwing continued, a soft _rap-rap-rap_ that rapidly escalated into a _thunk-thunk-THUNK_ as the rock-thrower grew more and more impatient.

Still, Nino's bed was _very_ warm and comfortable...

 _ **THUNK.**_

Grumbling under his breath, Nino threw off his blankets, cursed the cold and fumbled for his glasses. With great reluctance, he shuffled over to the bedroom window, arms wrapped around himself, and leaned forward with his nose pressed up against the glass, peering into the darkness outside.

Three stories down, Alya was standing on the sidewalk, poised to throw another stone. But when Nino's face appeared in the window, her face lit up brightly. Instead of hurling yet another rock at Nino's poor, abused window, she let the stone fall to the ground and waved both arms frantically at him, motioning for him to open the window.

With a heavy sigh, Nino unlocked the window and pushed it open.

"Alya," he called down. "It's like two in the morning."

"It's _important_!" Alya called back.

"It's _two_ in the _morning!_ "

"Stop complaining and get your butt down here!"

"Can't it wait until tomorrow?"

"Absolutely not!"

Nino sighed again, weighing his options.

He could tell Alya to stuff it, climb back into bed, and catch up on his precious Z's. But that would probably earn him a permanent spot on her blacklist, a lot of pointed glares over the next few days, and wouldn't even guarantee that she would stop throwing rocks at his window. He hesitated a moment, glancing between his warm, soft bed and the girl waiting impatiently in snowy streets down below.

There was only one real solution here.

"Be down in five," he muttered reluctantly.

He closed the window again, groggily made his way through his family's darkened apartment, and spent a few minutes fumbling in the dark to pull on his shoes. Then he shouldered on his coat over his pajamas and, as quietly as he could manage, snuck out the front door. By the time he made it down to the front of the building, Alya was already waiting for him near the entrance.

Outside, the streets were all covered in a light blanket of white. It was the kind of cliché white Christmas that Nino had always thought was confined to holiday jingles and cheesy Christmas specials. Not that snow itself was actually all that rare in Paris. It snowed for a few days almost every year. It was just that Nino rarely got to see it while it was still all pretty and pristine, before it had half-melted into an ugly gray slush.

"I was beginning to think that you'd bailed on me," Alya said, poking him in the side teasingly. Nino playfully batted her hand away.

"Okay," Nino began. "You want to tell me what this is all about? Why are you still awake, anyway?"

"You know Réveillon goes late with my family," Alya said, shrugging a little. "This was the soonest I could get away!"

"And we're out here in the cold because...?"

"We're out here _b_ _ecause_ ," Alya said, clapping her hands together gleefully, "we're on a recon mission!"

Nino blinked a few times. "What?" he asked. "And more importantly, _w_ _hy?_ "

At that, Alya's expression lit up. "I'm glad you asked!" she said cheerfully. "Let me present you with _Exhibit One—_ "

* * *

EXHIBIT ONE  
CÉSAIRE RESIDENCE  
28 OCTOBER

Alya was sworn to secrecy about the identity of Marinette's crush, of course, but it was pretty obvious to anyone with eyes. It was... _really_ obvious. It was secondhand-embarrassment-inducing levels of obvious. Marinette spent all of her school hours mooning over You-Know-Who and writing bad poetry about his sparkling green eyes and freaking out every time he so much as looked in her direction.

She had an honest-to-god collage of his pretty model face taped up on her bedroom walls. She had _memorized his schedule_.

Alya could even say, without even a hint of hyperbole or sarcasm, that Marinette's crush was the Most obvious.

So you can imagine Alya's surprise when she discovered one fateful October morning that Marinette was not sketching Adrien Agreste's dreamy teen idol bod in the margins of her notebook, but Parisian superhero Chat Noir himself.

"Whoa," Alya said, leaning over her best friends shoulder. "That's really good."

And it _was_ really good. Thought Marinette couldn't really be called an artist, her experience with fashion design had left her with a knack for anatomy and a talent for sketching out the human form. And, Alya had to say, the anatomy in this particular sketch was very accurate. Like, _incredibly_ accurate. Maybe even _suspiciously_ accurate. It was accurate enough that it had Alya wondering just how much time Marinette had spent staring at Chat Noir's chest, and more importantly, _why_.

"Uh, thanks," Marinette said, flushing slightly. She pulled her notebook a little bit closer to her chest, as if she were embarrassed to be caught in the act, and turned away from Alya. "I was just, you know, doodling."

"You should draw a Ladybug to go with him!" Alya suggested, admittedly for purely selfish reasons.

But at that, weirdly enough, Marinette's flush grew brighter. "Oh, I don't know," she said, awkwardly fiddling with her pencil. "Ladybug is Ladybug! I could never—she's already so—it would just be weird."

"Uh... huh," Alya said slowly. She was pretty sure that there was _something_ fishy about Marinette's answer there, but she couldn't quite put her finger on what it was.

"Anyway!" Marinette said abruptly, turning to a fresh page in her notebook. "We should actually get started on this project, right?"

"Right," Alya agreed.

She let the subject drop, in the name of her history grade. But this was just the beginning.

* * *

"Well?" Alya asked.

Nino shuffled along the sidewalk, brows drawn together.

"I... don't get it," Nino admitted.

Alya rolled her eyes. "What's not to get?"

"Okay, so... you're telling me that we're going to go spy on Marinette, right?"

Alya hesitated a moment. "Well," she said, holding up her hands, "I don't know if I would call it _spying_ exactly, but yes."

"Okay, but like... what does _that_ have to do with anything?"

"C'mon, Nino! Marinette's had a major crush on You-Know-Who practically since the moment she first laid eyes on him. And then she's doodling _some other boy_ all over her homework? Don't you think that's a little suspicious?"

"Uh, yeah, sure," Nino agreed, even though he didn't think it was suspicious at all. "But why are we sneaking out to see her at two in the morning? Don't tell me we're wing-manning for her or something."

"Wh— _no!_ " Alya said quickly. She smacked Nino lightly on the arm. "No, not at all. Okay, never mind that, _Exhibit Two—"_

* * *

EXHIBIT TWO  
PLACE DES VOSGES  
12 NOVEMBER

It was just after the Ghost King akuma incident. No, wait, it was Balletomania. No, it was—

Okay, never mind, that's not important.

The akumatized person—Ghost King or Balletomania or whoever it was—was one of those kinds that turned unsuspecting Parisians into part of their zombie horde (or ghost horde or ballerina horde or...)

Anyway. Alya was out looking for Marinette, who had disappeared abruptly in the middle of the attack and had probably been made part of the villain's zombie/ghost/ballerina horde. Alya was fighting her way through crowds of confused Parisians, all of them standing sort of dazedly around and holding their heads, trying to figure out where they were and how they'd gotten there. Alya, meanwhile, was elbowing past them rather roughly, calling out Marinette's name as she pushed through the crowds until she ran smack into the chest of one Adrien Agreste.

Alya stumbled backwards. With reflexes quick as lightning, Adrien reached out to steady her by the shoulders.

"O-oh, hey Alya," Adrien said. He smiled at her, but his voice was slightly strained. "What a surprise to see you around here! Are you alright?"

Alya shook her head a little, trying to regain her bearings. "Yeah, I'm fine," she said. "But I'm looking for Marinette! She disappeared in the attack and I can't find her. Have you see her anywhere?"

Adrien frowned. "I haven't," he said, sounding genuinely concerned. "Where did you see her last?"

Alya's features twisted up into a scowl. "I don't know," she admitted, "I got totally distracted by that akuma. She was _right_ next to me, and then we were running, and then I don't know. It was like she just vanished!"

"Well, she's probably around here somewhere," Adrien said reassuringly. He took a quick glance around the crowd, eyes scanning through the sea of people still milling around in the park. "We can look for her together."

They set out together, both of them scouring the crowds for Marinette. Except that honestly, from that point on, it had mostly just been Adrien looking for her. He had a serious height advantage on Alya, and she mostly just felt like she was tagging along. It was only a few moments later when he spotted her on the far side of the Place des Vosges, strolling out of her family's bakery and talking to herself.

Once Adrien had pointed her out, Alya wasted no time in rushing over. "Marinette!" she called out, waving her hands at the other girl to catch her attention. "MARINETTE!"

Marinette froze in place, one hand resting lightly on her purse, and looked around a little guiltily. When she spotted Adrien and Alya, she smiled awkwardly and waved back.

"Hi guys!" Marinette said. "What's up?"

Alya, on account of having sprinted over to Marinette at top speed, was still out of breath, so Adrien was the one who ended up answering her.

"We were just looking for you, Marinette," Adrien said. "It's such a relief that you're safe. We were starting to get worried!"

Just a few weeks ago, this was exactly the kind of thing that would have left Marinette dissolving into puddle of blushiness and teenage angst. But instead of turning beet red and tripping all over herself, Marinette just said, sounding puzzled, "Of course I'm fine. Why wouldn't I be?"

"Uh," Alya said, barreling forward to grab Marinette by the arms. Marinette seemed taken aback, but said nothing as Alya looked her over, checking for any sign of harm. "Because of the _akuma_? Where were you? Where did you go, what _happened?_ You shouldn't scare me like that!"

"O-oh," Marinette said awkwardly. She glanced between Alya and Adrien a few times. "That. Um, yeah. I was—rescued by Chat Noir?"

Alya arched a single brow. Adrien furrowed his.

"You were?" they asked in unison.

" _Yes_ ," Marinette said, more firmly this time. "I just—I sort of fell behind, you see," she explained, gesturing wildly with her hands. "And I thought for sure that they were going to get me! But then Chat Noir showed up and rescued me just in time!"

"He did?" Adrien and Alya asked, both clearly bewildered.

"Yep," Marinette said confidently. She placed her hands on her hips. "Wow, that Chat Noir sure is something, what a great guy—hey, does anyone want macarons?"

Alya glanced sideways at Adrien.

Adrien was watching Marinette. His expression had gone completely unreadable, his real emotions carefully guarded behind a mask of neutrality, lips thinning into a line as thoughts churned ceaselessly in his head.

In that moment, Alya knew without a doubt what Adrien was thinking.

He was jealous of Chat Noir.

* * *

Nino tilted his head to one side, pausing for a moment in thought.

"Jealous?" he asked. " _Really?"_

"Obviously!"

Nino thought that over for another moment, then shook his head.

"Nah, I don't think so," he said slowly. "Are you sure Adrien wasn't just, y'know, weirded out by Marinette's kinda bizarro behavior?"

"No," Alya said firmly, "this was jealousy. You see, Adrien knew that Marinette had a crush on him, but then she was acting all normal and not-crush-y around him _and_ singing the praises of Chat Noir, and that's when Adrien realized—"

"Wait, slow down a minute," Nino said. He came to a stop on the sidewalk, shoving his hands deeper into his pockets. " _Does_ Adrien know that Marinette has a crush on him?"

Alya stared blankly at Nino.

"Serious question," Nino said, shifting awkwardly between his feet.

"I don't think Adrien's _that_ oblivious," Alya said dryly. "Marinette's about as subtle as a landslide."

"I don't know, Alya," Nino said uncertainly. "Adrien can be pretty oblivious sometimes. He's really sheltered, y'know?"

Alya sighed heavily, shaking her head. "Alright then," she said. "How about _this_ one—"

* * *

EXHIBIT THREE  
COLLÈGE FRANÇOISE DUPONT  
29 NOVEMBER

"Hey, Marinette," Adrien asked one day before class, "what are you working on?"

Marinette, who had been hunched over her sketchbook, straightened out in surprise. She glanced up at Adrien and laughed a little awkwardly, pushing her sketchbook forward so that he could see more clearly. "Oh, it's nothing really," she said bashfully. "Just some designs I was sketching out."

Adrien leaned over, examining the designs thoughtfully. Alya leaned over too.

"Wow, these are really good," Adrien said, sounding genuinely impressed. "Are they Ladybug inspired?"

"Uh, yeah," Marinette said, a little nervously. She reached up with one hand to fiddle with one of her pigtails. "Nothing too serious. Just, you know, some thoughts about how I might redesign her suit. Not that her suit isn't great—of course it is!—but I was just thinking, you know, that it might be cool if it was a little less... plain."

Adrien was still admiring the designs, but Alya saw an opening.

"Hey Marinette," she said slyly, leaning in close to her friend and elbowing her lightly in the side. "You should try doing one for Chat Noir, too."

"Actually," Marinette said cheerfully, "I already did!"

She flipped back to an earlier page in her sketchbook, showing off half a dozen quick pencil sketches for a redesigned Chat Noir suit. Alya had no eye for fashion, so she couldn't really say whether they were any good or not, but Adrien was suitably impressed.

"Wow, Marinette," he said. "These really are incredible." Then, with a strange expression, he added, "You should show these to him sometime."

"Oh, I don't think Chat Noir would appreciate them as much as you do," Marinette said, laughing a little. "He doesn't really like fashion."

"You sound like you know Chat Noir pretty well," Adrien said casually.

At that, Marinette blushed, a faint pink color dusting her cheeks. "O-oh, I wouldn't say I know him that well! We've only met a few times. He's very friendly though."

"Oh, okay," Adrien said. He smiled at her, one of those beautiful, flashy, supermodel grins. "It's really sweet of you to say that, Marinette."

Marinette made a strange coughing sound low in her throat. Adrien didn't appear to notice, but Alya did.

"Yeah, Marinette," she said, eyes twinkling. "That's really sweet. When exactly did you meet Chat Noir, again?"

Marinette narrowed her eyes at Alya.

"Is this for your blog?" she teased. "Alright, fine. There was that time with the Evillustrator, and again with the Gamer, and a couple of other times, I guess."

"A couple of other times?" Adrien asked curiously.

"You know, just here and there," Marinette said evasively. "Sometimes I see him when he's out patrolling at night."

"Really?" Adrien asked. His face had that strange, forced-neutral expression again.

"Yeah," Marinette said. "Anyway, these designs are still pretty rough. I feel like it needs a little extra something around the collar. I originally wanted to use feathers, but he's allergic to them."

"A-Allergic to feathers, wow, really," Adrien said, sounding strangely flustered. He reached up with one hand to nervously scratch at his neck. "How on earth did you find that out?"

Marinette didn't notice Adrien's behavior, her attention still entirely on her designs. "That pigeon akuma," she explained off-handedly. Then, with a slightly wistful smile, she added, "He sneezes like a kitten."

Adrien watched Marinette strangely for a moment, apparently deep in thought.

Alya could practically see the gears turning in his head. He was staring at Marinette with the most intense gaze Alya had ever seen, like he was hoping that she would spontaneously combust or something if he stared at her hard enough. Marinette, naturally, was completely oblivious to all this. She was happily explaining her designs, gesturing at some of the finer details of the compositions, apparently unaware that she had caught her crush's whole and undivided attention.

The moment that realization finally struck Adrien was as clear as daylight. His whole expression changed, his mouth dropping slightly open as his eyes suddenly grew very, _very_ wide.

Adrien stood up abruptly, knocking his chair over as he did. The look on his face could only be described as shell-shocked.

Marinette jumped a little in her seat, visibly startled, and glanced up at him. But Adrien was already leaving, quickly shoving all his belongings into his bag. "I'm so sorry, but there's this thing. That I forgot. Yep, I definitely need to leave right now—"

"Are you okay?" Marinette asked, brow furrowed in concern.

"Yeah, fine, talk to you later, my—Marinette!" he called out over his shoulder as he darted out of the classroom.

* * *

"Huh, that's funny," Nino said thoughtfully. "Adrien's allergic to feathers too."

"Ni- _no!"_ Alya complained. "That's not the point!"

Nino had to admit, he was probably more confused now than he had been before. "And the point is?" he asked, not sure that he actually wanted to know what Alya's answer would be.

Alya took in a deep breath, then continued with—

* * *

EXHIBIT FOUR  
PLACE DU CHÂTELET  
9 DECEMBER

From that day on, Adrien's interest in Marinette was magnified by ten. He seemed to appear magically at Marinette's side at every possible opportunity—in the mornings before class, during their lunch breaks, after school, in _the middle of lecture._

He'd spent the last week studying Marinette with an intensity that Alya had rarely seen outside of soap operas and B-movie romances. And Marinette—stammery, blushy, awkward Marinette—didn't even bat an eye at the extra attention.

Alya noticed though. And Alya _watched_.

She kept watching, in fact, for over a week, until the day came when they were all walking together from school to a nearby park. They were all three of them side-by-side, with Marinette chattering along happily and Adrien watching her with big, forlorn, love-struck eyes. Alya was watching him watch Marinette.

"So anyway," Marinette was saying, very animatedly, "I was thinking of doing a sweetheart neckline and— _oops!"_

Marinette stumbled slightly, tripping over an unexpected jut in the sidewalk. It was Adrien's surprisingly fast reflexes to the rescue again as he reached out to grab her by the elbow, steadying her.

"Are you alright?" he asked, a little awkwardly.

"Y-yeah," Marinette stuttered, clearly flustered. Even if her crush on Adrien had been waning for the past few weeks, Alya was somewhat relieved to see that it was still there, just deeper down. "Th-thanks."

"Anytime, my Lady," Adrien said, without thinking.

They were both silent for a moment after that, staring at each other with huge, wide eyes, before they abruptly jumped apart.

"Y-you," Marinette stuttered, pointing one finger at him in a strangely accusatory way.

"No, I didn't mean—" Adrien was saying, holding his hands up.

Then they both fell silent again. They were staring at each other very intently, and Alya could only imagine what must be going through their heads. Those were some _serious_ looks they were giving each other. Alya was just about to speak up when they both suddenly whipped their heads around to look at her.

"Uh, are you two okay?" Alya asked cautiously.

"I think I forgot something at the bakery," Marinette said. Alya knew that that couldn't possibly be true, since they had been walking from _school_ , not Marinette's house, but she decided to let it slide this time. "I'm going to have to go back to get it," Marinette continued, with a strange air of finality.

"I'll go with you," Adrien volunteered quickly. He turned to face Alya, offering her a nervous, crooked smile. "We'll meet up with you later, Alya?"

* * *

"Needless to say," Alya continued, "they did _not_ meet up with me later. I grilled Marinette about it for a solid hour but she didn't have anything to say for herself. There's definitely something going on with her, right?"

Nino exhaled deeply.

"That is pretty weird," he admitted.

"See!" Alya crowed, triumphant. "I knew you would understand!"

"But I'm still not sure why we're sneaking out in the middle of the night to go see her?" Nino continued, one eyebrow raised.

"Because Marinette is in a secret relationship," Alya said, waggling her eyebrows.

Nino's frown grew deeper.

"Okay, Alya," he said. "You've convinced me that Marinette and Adrien have been acting kind of weird around each other lately. But _secret dating?_ "

"Oh yes," Alya said proudly. "Take a look at this beauty."

Alya shoved her cell phone in front of Nino's face, and hit _play_.

* * *

EXHIBIT FIVE  
THE GRAND PALAIS  
24 DECEMBER

It was purely by dumb luck that Alya found herself in the Grand Palais already when yesterday's winter-themed akuma burst out on the scene. Privately, Alya was pretty sure that this one could be attributed to a certain Chloé Bourgeois, but that of course was beside the point.

The roof of the Grand Palais hotel had proven in the past to be an excellent vantage point to get exclusive video coverage of Ladybug and Chat Noir in action, so at the first hint of akuma-related action, Alya made her way up to the roof as fast as she could. She set herself up in a little corner, cell phone held at the ready, and waited breathlessly for her chance to get some Ladyblog-exclusive coverage.

She wasn't actually trying to hide from anyone or anything, but apparently her little corner was unnoticeable enough that when superhero Chat Noir himself swung down onto the roof, damsel held comfortably in his arms, neither one of them noticed her.

Alya gasped out loud when she realized that the damsel in question was _Marinette_ , but both she and Chat Noir were apparently too occupied to notice that they had company.

Chat Noir set Marinette down lightly on her feet, smirking at her.

"You should be more careful," he said playfully, hands resting lightly on her waist. "It's dangerous out there."

Marinette made a small huffing sound, rolling her eyes. "I think I can handle it," she said dryly.

"Is that what handling it looks like?" Chat teased. "You'll have to teach me your ways sometime. Tonight, maybe?"

Marinette smirked and gave the bell on Chat Noir's throat a little jingle. "Nice try, alley cat," she said, "but my heart already belongs to somebody else."

"Oh," Chat Noir said, eyes widening slightly. He took a few awkward steps back away from Marinette, staring nervously at the ground. "I'm sorry, I didn't—"

"No!" Marinette interrupted quickly, waving her hands nervously in front of her. "That's not what I meant—I mean—"

Marinette paused a second and took in a deep breath to compose herself.

"I mean," she said playfully, planting her hands on her hips, "there's this guy at my school, you might have heard of him. His name is Adrien Agreste?"

"Oh," Chat Noir said again. Then, after another pause, " _Ohhhhhh_."

Marinette's face went a little red, but she managed to keep her composure. "You're pretty great," she continued, struggling to keep her face straight, "but I don't know if you could compete with him!"

"Well," Chat Noir said, stepping in close to her again, so close that they were almost touching. "He's not here, is he?"

Marinette's lips curled into a smile, barely suppressing a laugh. "I suppose he isn't."

Somewhat tentatively, Chat Noir reached up to brush away a few stray strands of her hair. "And it's not like he's your boyfriend, right?"

"Well..." Marinette said hesitantly. "He _might_ be."

Now Chat Noir was blushing too, a faint red just barely visible beneath the edges of his mask. "He's not the jealous type, is he?"

"Hmm," Marinette said. She pressed one finger to her lips and pretended to think it over. "I don't think he's the kind of person who would get very possessive... but I guess you _could_ say that he has a dark side."

"A dark side, huh?" Chat Noir mused. "Careful, princess. Sounds like your boyfriend might be dangerous."

Marinette laughed at that, light and pure. "Oh, I _know_ he is," she purred, drawing in even closer to him.

"Do you think," Chat whispered, his lips just inches from her face, "he would get angry if I did this?"

"Did what?" Marinette asked, soft and breathy.

"This." Chat Noir tilted his head slightly and leaned in ever-so-slightly closer...

"Oh my _GOD!_ " Alya cried out. She clapped one hand over her mouth a split-second after she'd said it, but the damage had already been done. Marinette and Chat Noir both jumped apart, startled, and whirled around to face her.

"A-Alya," Marinette stuttered.

"Oh no," Chat Noir said, looking stricken.

"This isn't what it—" Marinette began, but her explanation was promptly interrupted by a distant explosion from the akuma below.

"I, uh—I should go," Chat said quickly. With a half-bow in Alya's direction, he took a few running steps and then leapt off of the roof of the Grand Palais.

"Yes," Marinette agreed. "We should go hide, don't you think, Alya?"

"No way!" Alya said. She'd already turned around, her cell phone now pointed at Chat Noir as he battled the akuma. "I've gotta cover this for my blog."

"Well, _I'm_ going to go hide," Marinette said.

"Okay," Alya said, waving her off. "But don't think that you're getting out of explaining this later!"

Marinette made a quiet, half-hearted sound of agreement, and scurried away.

* * *

Nino's jaw dropped open.

"Holy crap, Alya!" he exclaimed. He looked up at her, then back at her phone, and then over at Alya again. "Is this real?"

"One hundred percent real, completely unedited footage," Alya said, snatching her phone back.

"You never posted this on your blog!" Nino protested.

"I'm not going to do that to Marinette!"

"But you're going to _spy_ on her, apparently?"

"Just a little bit!"

Nino rolled his eyes. "Okay, whatever. Let's just do this quickly so that we can get back to bed, okay?"

Alya nodded eagerly, and the two continued on their long, slow shuffle to Marinette's bakery.

Nino shook his head, still disbelieving. "I can't believe Marinette's in a secret relationship with Chat Noir," he mused out loud.

Alya paused where she stood. She turned to face Nino, one brow slightly raised. "No," she said, "Marinette's in a secret relationship with _Adrien_."

Nino's mouth fell open.

"But—you saw that video!

"Yeah," Alya said, "where she said she that Adrien was her _sort-of-boyfriend!"_

Nino didn't even know how he was supposed to answer that.

This was weird, even for Alya. This was weirder than the time that she thought that Chloé was Ladybug. This was weirder than the time she thought _Mme Mendeleiev_ was Ladybug.

"Okay Alya, is this some kind of joke?" Nino hissed. "Were we even watching the same video?"

"Clearly," Alya said casually.

"That was all playful banter! Those two were definitely flirting! He _kissed_ her—"

"Shhh!" Alya hushed him, suddenly clamping one hand over his mouth. Nino grumbled and tried to pry her hand off, but Alya was adamant. "Look over there!"

Marinette was leaning heavily against the railing on her balcony, her back to them. Adrien was sitting beside her, perched dangerously atop the rail itself, but looking quite comfortable there. Marinette was laughing at something that Adrien had said, and he was looking bashfully away.

Alya seemed content to watch from the shadows. But Nino pulled away from her, shoved his hands deep into his pockets, and pushed forward.

"Bruh, what are you doing up there?" he called up, sounding exasperated. "That can't possibly be safe!"

Marinette and Adrien both jumped, visibly startled, but by some miracle Adrien managed to avoid falling off the roof entirely.

"N-Nino," Marinette stuttered, face flaming red.

"And Alya too," Adrien added, frowning. Slowly, he climbed off of the railing, coming down to stand safely beside Marinette on the balcony. "What are you guys doing here?"

"What are we doing here? What are _you_ doing here!" Alya snapped, rushing up after Nino.

"Um..." Marinette said nervously, glancing at Adrien.

"We were..." Adrien began, trailing off awkwardly.

"Don't tell me that Alya was right," Nino said, shaking his head. "You guys are actually _secret dating?"_

Marinette and Adrien glanced sideways at each other. Their gazes were intense, like they were engaging in some kind of weird boyfriend/girlfriend mental telepathy, and then they both turned back towards Nino and Alya.

"Well," Marinette said awkwardly. She nodded her head up and down a few times. "Y-yes, actually. Adrien and I have been in a secret relationship."

"But why keep it a secret, bro?" Nino asked. "You could've just told us."

"Uhhh," Adrien said, rubbing nervously at the back of his neck. "It's just because of my father, you know? He's super strict and..."

"And that's why you have to meet secretly in the middle of the night!" Alya finished for him. "Of _course!_ It makes total sense."

"Y-yeah," Marinette agreed, perhaps a little too quickly. "We're sorry we didn't tell you right away. It's just—"

"—we couldn't risk letting anything get back to Dad," Adrien finished for her. "We were trying to figure out how to tell you—"

"—but we just weren't sure how!"

Alya seemed pleased with this turn of events. Adrien and Marinette laughed a little, glancing bashfully at each other. But Nino was more confused than ever.

"But—but what about Chat Noir?" Nino asked, his eyes flicking between Marinette and Adrien. He _really_ hoped that he was not about to break Adrien's heart, but he wasn't about to stay silent about it either!

"I," Marinette began awkwardly. "Well, you see—"

"Superheroes don't count!" Adrien interrupted loudly.

" _Yes_ ," Marinette agreed emphatically. "Mmm-hmm."

"Anyway, it's getting quite late—shouldn't we all get to bed?" Adrien said.

"I agree," Nino said, staring pointedly at Alya. While he was still a little suspicious of Adrien's story—something about it still seemed fishy—he was _really_ tired, you know.

"But—!"

"We'll talk in the morning, Alya," Marinette said sweetly.

"See you tomorrow, my Lady," Adrien said, leaning over to kiss Marinette on the cheek. Then, with surprising agility, he vaulted back over the railing and climbed down the side of the building, feet moving carefully over windowsills and latticed brickwork, until he finally leapt from the wall and landed lightly on his feet on the snow below.

Alya lifted a single eyebrow. "Wow," Nino said.

"I took climbing lessons," Adrien said cheerfully, making finger guns at them. "C'mon, we can walk together!"

* * *

Ten minutes later, Nino shuffled his way back to his bedroom, kicked off his boots, and collapsed back into his bed.

He was still a little miffed about the whole thing. From waking up in the middle of the night, and all that weird stuff Alya was talking about, and now learning that Adrien had secretly gotten together with Marinette—it was a Christmas surprise, all right, but not really the kind that he had wanted. And none of it made any _sense—_ Adrien's weird behavior, Marinette's totally obvious lying, _everything_ with Chat Noir.

"Adrien doesn't even have a dark side," he grumbled to himself as he climbed beneath the covers.

Nino nestled down underneath the blankets, hoping to at least catch a _few_ hours of sleep before the big shindig in the morning, and was already drifting off when...

"Holy sh—!" Nino exclaimed, sitting bolt upright in bed.

* * *

At 2:56am on December the 25th, Adrien Agreste was rudely awoken by someone throwing rocks at his bedroom window.


End file.
